as much as i want to (forgot. so much for staying up after work.)

i want to go for dance classes! but with all this procrastination, i think i'll put off that wish a bit longer.

or maybe i should wait until payday. lol


updates:

1) new phone! finally an iphone after so many years lusting after the itty bit of metal/plastic shticky gizmo. right, i should have gotten the galaxy note, but androids suck in my opinion and i have too many paid apps on itunes and the whole family except me has an iphone each. so wth not.

2) gave up on trying to obtain milk (note the wording, "obtain". it's such a pain visiting the grocer every night before work (nevermind looking for the skim/lowfat variety in 300ml bottles, those are just fairy tale stuff), or buying it in 1L bottles just to see it curdle and stink because no one (between me and the fatass bf) bothers to store them in the fridge. and considering the amount of time i spend at the bf's place, it makes more sense to just bring the whole bottle of the shake powder with me wherever i go so that i won't forget. so tiresome.)

3) got locked out of my own place because i pushed my poor luck by not testing whether all the keys on the keyring worked before turning both locks on the door. i should contact a locksmith stat.

4) concentration shot, getting more shot everyday (if possible)

5) ...


shoot this
i'm gna get the locksmith or the agent

i feel stressed and like crying all the time. i cannot make myself speak of this out loud because it's too embarrassing, but i'm too willing to type this out for the whole internet to read.

i'm still running away from responsibilities by sleeping off whole mornings and afternoons, and playing games for hours on the ipod.

i haven't been to my own place in weeks, but i'm still paying rent. in fact, i should be paying another one tomorrow. but i really can't bring myself to go back home from work, because there are no buses in the wee hours of the mornings.

i haven't done my own laundry for weeks either. so one pile is still stewing in sweat or whatever dirt and dust at home while the fatbf grudgingly throws everything black into the small pitiful washer shared between idk-9 ppl?

skin trouble all over the face, nothing but sleep and water helps

assignments too, these aren't a new topic but it's still depressing to talk about.

then there are those 30+yo women applying for jobs at the place i'm working at, but unlike other conventional koreans coming to aus on working holiday visas, this particular one is 31yo (hence the student visa) and goes to "school" 9-3pm and flirts on the phone all the time during work with her chinese housemate. and complains that the job advert tricked her into applying and that we shouldn't make her do so much work for such long hours. wtf is this shithead talking about. we are all doing the same work for same hours, bitchhead princess. i'm shittired of training her, and she's so deaf and strongheaded that i want to sack her asap. but i still have one month to train enough ppl to stand in for the weeks i want to take off to prep for finals. so fuck this, i have to give in. FUCK

the only good things this week is my new passport, new phone and paycheck tomorrow.

just reminded myself that i need to find my tfn. fuck this

i want to get married and live the posh country life knitting/crocheting/gardening away

hmm

recently i've been thinking about this so much more often, because being unmarried right now feels hard and unsupported/lonely (even with a fat blob aka boyfriend who is so much more BUSY but earns less than you in the short run).

meaning i should get myself occupied with some real work.

i miss knitting/crocheting

not like i did it every single free moment before i got this job and this new place,

but doing them, it's just so comforting (even though most of the yarn are ticklish and too warm for the weather)
and reading all those knitting/crocheting crafts blogs makes this unintended separation too hard to bear.

grrrr

asked to reduce my shift time already, so by next week i should have three nights off to do whatever i need to do. which should be assignments.

then drooling at hot abs running around on the beach from my seat in the local maccas. eheheheheh
the perverted side of me has not died out yet. ufufufufu

over 11.2k page views

*GASP*



lol

nothing much has happened since the last post, maybe just a new place to myself by the beach (that i'm not really returning to as often as i should, considering i'm paying nearly a grand a month for it) and some renewed hope on herbalife (suggested by a slightly unsure-ish looking independent distributor/diet coach contacted through a seemingly appealing ad of "want to lose those extra kilos? compete with others to lose and win a cash prize in 6 weeks!" while going on lunch breaks during the intern period... god that seems like ages ago)

so far i've only had three shakes over the two days, and a pizza hut OD some time last night that i'm never going to log in on ichange. rofl

what's the point in drinking all those shakes, you ask.
well, it's slightly filling (considering how stretched my stomach is after all these years of binging... wait scratch that, it's probably more elastic that anyone), and i can save some lunch money for at least two weeks per bottle of shake powder (considering that the distributor/coach sold me the shake powder and a multivit bottle for just over AUD100, and my average lunch costs AUD12/day, and after two weeks i'll probably just get another shake powder for less than the original price). might just have to pay about 300 for the 6-week challenge, but considering how boring and cheap my social life has become due to this night job, i think it's somewhat worth it.


and here i am procrastinating on yet another assignment (which actually makes two that i'm supposed to hand in, because the other one was due two weeks ago)

i need to tidy up, and get to do that other stash of laundry by the beach. and do something about this hideous face of mine that breaks out every night i try to hide with some makeup. oversleeping doesn't seem to help much, so i'm guessing it's the contact/internal problems.

has anyone played Cause of Death on the ipod/iphone? it's so interesting

another procrastination post

long time no post.

having a paid job gives me free reign of my expenses, which are very unreasonable and sometimes outright inexcusable.
forget what i bought yesterday, just a few hours before i was clicking through for discounted Easter Show tickets (which i have already been to like what, twice? the last one was a disaster.) then i bought two pairs of shaping undies (boo-boo) then two tubes of blackhead peeling gel over ebay.

now i can't keep my fingers off those online shopping malls. i'm still looking for this Gasoul pack (google reviews on various Gasoul packs; it's one of those fad mud facial packs that's supposed to help you both exfoliate and unclog pores at the same time. butttt this particular product that a colleague uses seems to be very effective, so i'm going to buy it asap to save my poor face.), this Ferrari perfume that smelt so wonderfully masculine on a particular person (probably have to buy on strawberrynet, it's surprising how even Myer doesn't stock it on their online site even though it's there offline), then some Benefit stuff, and a Herbalife program package.

and i still need to pay for the fridge, sofa bed and coffee table (total including delivery is 300), and RENT.

did i mention that i finally signed my own rental lease and now have my own little studio? well its' more like a bedsit because the toilet's communal, but still, it's my own place and i don't have to worry about getting evicted and harassed by some batshit crazy landlord because the room's too messy to their taste. (i'm just talking about my first two landlord ppl.) it's 220/wk excluding any bills, and idk how the agent's done it because i haven't gotten any notice about utility contracts yet. (that sounded fishy from the start)

anyway i got this place because it's the cheapest studio i could find around uni, and also because if i get drinks after work then i can just sleep on the bus to the beach where most routes end. that's super convenient.

hell one more thing to add to the list of to-buy's: long term transport tickets. just realised that if i can't make myself pay for the additional taxi fares after work, then i might as well just get a quarterly/yearly transport ticket and save some more.

on the other hand, why do i still have to push myself to stay up and procrastinate on the portfolio when tomorrow's Easter Friday (hence no class)?

why can't the student central check with the DIAC themselves about changed visa extension policy? eff it

can't wait to rent out my own place, might need personal loan though.

study/life schedule is top priority now, can't get my head around it.

seems like i'm spending much more than i should be, given my financial goals.

Me gots an insatiable appetite (mhmm) and an even more bottomless stomach. Hee Mut be all the stress and allnighters. Got rejected too. Or brushed off, whichever. Not like it's the first time. Guess that teaches me to stray off. Getting pissed off regularly compared to a week ago. Then i was smiling all day like a crackpot and almost nothing could bring me down, not even the bitchhead coworker. Now i'm obviously disappointed, depressed and generally sad and feeling unworthy. Hell i'm so obvious that i'll try to cope with the disappointment with drinking after work. But no one's gonna drink to oblivion with me. Aishhh The more i recount the more i'm feeling down.